“Writing is not a literary act but spiritual…In writing, I work with words…But not mere words…but words…as carriers of spirit/Spirit. The moment words are used prayerlessly…something essential begins to leak out of life.” -Eugene Peterson
Aaron, I appreciate your openness here. I can identify in that I am, in a typical week, writing a sermon, a Bible Class, and a devotional. Two have to be video recorded for our church. It wears on me. I'm not above looking at an older sermon on the same text I'm working on- but I seldom use it as is. I'm not above it - I just usually do not do that. Anyway, I appreciate the ongoingness of the work you do and the way you just set it before us ... I know many will understand and identify.
The quote from Maria Rilke really spoke to me. I gave up writing for the public early last year. That meant I gave up blogging at A Cry For Justice. My last post at A Cry For Justice explained why I was giving up -- it was either give up writing, or continue battling suicidal thoughts.
I have not written for the public since then, other than commenting on other people's blogs/susbstacks, and interacting on Twitter.
I am now recovered from 9 months of burnout and am contemplating starting writing again. So the Rikle quote is really helpful for me to ponder.
My problems with writing have always been that
1. I have so much to say (I never run out of ideas).
2. Writing and then publishing my book was so hard it was like giving birth to octuplets when all their heads wanted to come out at once.
3. I take simply ages drafting and editing my work, it is very tiring. I set a very high standard for myself.
4. I have been persecuted and slandered and shunned by my fellow 'abuse-advocates' including the pastor with whom I co-led A Cry For Justice for 6 years. He bullied and persecuted me after he had resigned from co-leading the blog, and he nearly succeeded in taking the blog entirely off-line. Many of the followers of A Cry For Justice joined in with him persecuting me.
5. My default way of being is to put other people's needs before my own (a trait of women who abusive men target). I poured energy into supporting survivors of abuse when they expressed a need or asked a question, and I neglected my own mental and physical health.
7. I have the impression (based on lots of empirical evidence) that very few evangelicals read my work, and the few who have read it have often not understood the complexity of my arguments.
8. I lose track of time when I'm deep in writing. When I'm at the keyboard I can say to myself, "I'll just re-word this paragraph and then take a break, or go to bed," and two hours later I realise I'm still writing. I gave myself RSI (Occupational Overuse Syndrome -- tendonitis in my hands and forearms) by doing that. It got so bad thought I would be unable to use my hands for the rest of my life. I've recovered from that, but that shows you how I work too hard for my own good!
Aaron, I appreciate your openness here. I can identify in that I am, in a typical week, writing a sermon, a Bible Class, and a devotional. Two have to be video recorded for our church. It wears on me. I'm not above looking at an older sermon on the same text I'm working on- but I seldom use it as is. I'm not above it - I just usually do not do that. Anyway, I appreciate the ongoingness of the work you do and the way you just set it before us ... I know many will understand and identify.
The quote from Maria Rilke really spoke to me. I gave up writing for the public early last year. That meant I gave up blogging at A Cry For Justice. My last post at A Cry For Justice explained why I was giving up -- it was either give up writing, or continue battling suicidal thoughts.
I have not written for the public since then, other than commenting on other people's blogs/susbstacks, and interacting on Twitter.
I am now recovered from 9 months of burnout and am contemplating starting writing again. So the Rikle quote is really helpful for me to ponder.
My problems with writing have always been that
1. I have so much to say (I never run out of ideas).
2. Writing and then publishing my book was so hard it was like giving birth to octuplets when all their heads wanted to come out at once.
3. I take simply ages drafting and editing my work, it is very tiring. I set a very high standard for myself.
4. I have been persecuted and slandered and shunned by my fellow 'abuse-advocates' including the pastor with whom I co-led A Cry For Justice for 6 years. He bullied and persecuted me after he had resigned from co-leading the blog, and he nearly succeeded in taking the blog entirely off-line. Many of the followers of A Cry For Justice joined in with him persecuting me.
5. My default way of being is to put other people's needs before my own (a trait of women who abusive men target). I poured energy into supporting survivors of abuse when they expressed a need or asked a question, and I neglected my own mental and physical health.
7. I have the impression (based on lots of empirical evidence) that very few evangelicals read my work, and the few who have read it have often not understood the complexity of my arguments.
8. I lose track of time when I'm deep in writing. When I'm at the keyboard I can say to myself, "I'll just re-word this paragraph and then take a break, or go to bed," and two hours later I realise I'm still writing. I gave myself RSI (Occupational Overuse Syndrome -- tendonitis in my hands and forearms) by doing that. It got so bad thought I would be unable to use my hands for the rest of my life. I've recovered from that, but that shows you how I work too hard for my own good!