Offering an answer to the question “why do I write?” is one way I want to say “thank you” here at the beginning of 2024. Thank you for reading, for opening those emails (which are almost always way to long for an email), for liking, for commenting, for sharing, and for encouraging me with how my writing has moved you. Thank you for your part in giving me reason to answer this question anew.
Thanks so much for this Aaron. I relate a lot to what you have said here about my own reasons for writing, and also this specific thing: "I don’t want to write a “top posts of 2023” simply because that is the hip thing to do, but I also don’t want to not write that because it is the hip thing to do." Struggled over whether to do the exact such thing! All the more hard to admit as a fellow non-conformist and as a big Merton and Peterson fan, and thinking about the financial sustainability issues.
The reasons I wrote in 2023 were varied. Some writing was to complete a degree. Some was to blow a whistle on something that my heart was burning if I didn't say it (coming across your stuff while I was doing that, thank you). Some was for the church. Some was for those outside it. I'd like to think all of it was working through something in my spirituality out loud. Thankfully I don't have to do any of the degree writing stuff, but I think the latter two reasons are still there in the spirit of EP and TM.
Now that I'm a pastor there's more synchronicity with writing for my job and writing for my newsletters. I think the continued place for growth for me as a writer is moving from my younger career of self-expression until one of more communication. Underneath both is the desire to connect and be understood, but with a more thoughtful social dimension to public writing. But also I think it's easy to overthink such things as a form of procrastination and fear.
Thanks for this post and the invitation to reflect. Looking forward to what you have to say in 2024.
Really appreciate this reply, Joe! Glad to know I’m not alone in my wrestlings. I need to check out your work, can you point me to where you were blowing the whistle? I really resonate with that sense of writing from existential necessity (as well as the allusion, intended or not, to Peterson’s biography 🤓).
Aaron, I have enjoyed your writing. Thank you for your vulnerability and transparency in your post. I can relate to much of what you shared here. I have struggled with my own "why" and I think it has hindered my writing. Something to explore more intentionally moving forward.
Thank you April. I know that hindrance well, what Steven Pressfield calls resistance, in his book The War of Art (highly recommend btw). Exploring that resistance really has helped reduce it for me. I hope it does for you as well.
This is a REALLY relatable post for me, Aaron! Thanks for writing it. (See? At least one person!) I also love the Peterson quote. Writing has been an act of prayer in some way for me at least since my teen years, but at the same time, I actually do feel like I have something to say that might be helpful for other people. It's so hard not to let ego run riot in this, isn't it?
Thanks so much Jenn. You capture the essence of what I was thinking so succinctly: writing as prayer (self benefit), and having something to say for others. I do think it’s possible to have the conviction of having something to say, without that being inherently prideful. I also vacillate between having to watch out for pride, and fear of pride as resistance; eg “I shouldn’t promote my writing because that would be prideful,” but I’m really just afraid of rejection. What complicated creatures we are!
Thanks so much for this Aaron. I relate a lot to what you have said here about my own reasons for writing, and also this specific thing: "I don’t want to write a “top posts of 2023” simply because that is the hip thing to do, but I also don’t want to not write that because it is the hip thing to do." Struggled over whether to do the exact such thing! All the more hard to admit as a fellow non-conformist and as a big Merton and Peterson fan, and thinking about the financial sustainability issues.
The reasons I wrote in 2023 were varied. Some writing was to complete a degree. Some was to blow a whistle on something that my heart was burning if I didn't say it (coming across your stuff while I was doing that, thank you). Some was for the church. Some was for those outside it. I'd like to think all of it was working through something in my spirituality out loud. Thankfully I don't have to do any of the degree writing stuff, but I think the latter two reasons are still there in the spirit of EP and TM.
Now that I'm a pastor there's more synchronicity with writing for my job and writing for my newsletters. I think the continued place for growth for me as a writer is moving from my younger career of self-expression until one of more communication. Underneath both is the desire to connect and be understood, but with a more thoughtful social dimension to public writing. But also I think it's easy to overthink such things as a form of procrastination and fear.
Thanks for this post and the invitation to reflect. Looking forward to what you have to say in 2024.
Really appreciate this reply, Joe! Glad to know I’m not alone in my wrestlings. I need to check out your work, can you point me to where you were blowing the whistle? I really resonate with that sense of writing from existential necessity (as well as the allusion, intended or not, to Peterson’s biography 🤓).
It was on my secondary newsletter: https://www.psychedeliccandor.org/p/the-religious-science-of-johns-hopkins-f60
Honestly forgot EP's biography (which I did listen to) was named after the Jeremiah reference at the top of mind. Good call!
Aaron, I have enjoyed your writing. Thank you for your vulnerability and transparency in your post. I can relate to much of what you shared here. I have struggled with my own "why" and I think it has hindered my writing. Something to explore more intentionally moving forward.
Thank you April. I know that hindrance well, what Steven Pressfield calls resistance, in his book The War of Art (highly recommend btw). Exploring that resistance really has helped reduce it for me. I hope it does for you as well.
This is a REALLY relatable post for me, Aaron! Thanks for writing it. (See? At least one person!) I also love the Peterson quote. Writing has been an act of prayer in some way for me at least since my teen years, but at the same time, I actually do feel like I have something to say that might be helpful for other people. It's so hard not to let ego run riot in this, isn't it?
Thanks so much Jenn. You capture the essence of what I was thinking so succinctly: writing as prayer (self benefit), and having something to say for others. I do think it’s possible to have the conviction of having something to say, without that being inherently prideful. I also vacillate between having to watch out for pride, and fear of pride as resistance; eg “I shouldn’t promote my writing because that would be prideful,” but I’m really just afraid of rejection. What complicated creatures we are!
Oh totally--ALL of this! We are complex, indeed.
For example, I'm pretty sure it's a historical first for anyone to tell me, Jennifer A G Layte, that I summed something up succinctly. 🤣
Haha 😂. One more thing I can relate with.